I Choose ............
It started first thing this morning. The decision making, I mean.
I'd like to have a while in the morning without the pressure.
As a teenager, one of the best choices I made was to decide before the situation stared me in the face. I decided how a date might end before leaving for the evening. I set boundaries for my behavior in many different areas of life. This minimized the stress of situations when temptations arose because I'd already thought about it from a practical viewpoint and decided.
Starting the day with a poor choice would set the pattern for the entire day. My intellect knew this but my "want to" had not aligned with my mind. Mom used to say, “Pretty is as pretty does,” I knew the “pretty” I sought closely aligned with my choices.
My husband asked me if I wanted to go run some errands with him. I decided going would offer me a reprieve from my dilemma, so I combed my hair and headed for the car.
But his errands were few and soon I sat in a restaurant, face to face with the very decision I’d been avoiding. Sometimes attempting to eluding a matter just does not work. My eyes scanned the menu in front of me and the internal struggle began again. Should I choose one or two. I knew three was out of the question but would only one work, or did I need two?
The kind waiter asked me if I’d decided, and I tried not to reveal my struggle. Many people would have viewed the menu I held as offering no healthy options at all. Internally, I felt ridiculous for placing so much emphasis on one selection.
Finally, I held my breath and answered. “One of each.” It only took a couple of seconds to speak those words. Once they were spoken, I could just move on. But oh, the stress when deciding. Do you want one pancake, one egg and one piece of bacon or two pancakes, two eggs and two pieces of bacon? Today I chose one. For just a few seconds, a smidge of self-control ruled.
Now if only I can carry that resolve with me all day. Just decide and act. It sounds so simple when I say it. The words are rolling around in my head. “For the Sprit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV) That includes loving myself enough to make good choices for my own health.
Sharing this moment of turmoil seems ridiculous. But is it really so superficial? Everyone makes choices all day every day that are insignificant. Choosing how to fuel our body and brain is not among the meaningless choices. It matters today and it will matter tomorrow as my body ages. More importantly, whether or not I am able to serve is closely tied to the state of my body and mind.
Lord help me make choices about food that will honor and protect this wonderfully made body you gave me. Thank you for your never ending love that continues to teach me. Help me treat my body with respect.